I don’t know about you but are the parenting articles working mums vs. stay at home mums all sounding a bit the same? Everywhere we look we seem to be inundated with articles trying to justify or defend one choice over the other. There are usually three types of articles on this topic.
The first is the working mum. Typically the article starts off explaining how successful the mother was prior to becoming a mother. How they forged their way up the corporate ladder, earning respect and in no way should they have to compromise this for motherhood. They love their job, they are good at their job and are able to afford childcare to continue to do so.
The second article is the stay at home mum. Warm and fluffy they speak of how their child is the most important achievement in their life and being there for their every moment is their only priority. They didn’t have a baby to go back to work, they had a baby to be a mother. Again they are in the position to be able to afford to stay home and be the mother they want to be.
The third article is a perfectly angled article to sit comfortably on the fence. This article justifies both choices and details the benefits for both mother and child in both situations. They neither support or judge and never stray from the sidewalk, so to as not alienate either party.
The problem with all three articles is that they cause mothers to doubt themselves and their choices tempting us to peep over the fence and see if the grass is greener on the other side.
Over the last fifty years, women and mothers have forged their way to enable us, the mothers of today, the opportunities and choices that they didn’t have. However, we are our own worst enemies; constantly judging and comparing each other and our choices.
But…. The thing is…
There is no right or wrong choice! There is only the right choice for you and that choice may be right for only a moment. It will change from time to time, from year to year as our children grow and our lives change.
And the fact is some have more options than others. Some mothers have no choice but to return to work, whether it is their first choice or not. Their partner may be out of work, they may be a single mother, or they may need the dual income just to survive. No situation is black or white, so situation is ideal or perfect and there is certainly no one fits all solution.
So next time you read yet another parenting debate article don’t judge or compare. Understand that everyone’s choices and options are different, and the only thing that matters for you is what feels right for you and your family.