Do you ever feel that stagnating feeling within your relationship? That feeling where nothing seems to be changing, the excitement is diminishing, dare I say, the love -making is on the downhill spiral, and it just feels like one day becomes the next? Relationships are hard work. They are not easy. Like a garden that needs some time, attention, love and care, so do our relationships.
With life’s demands only increasing, it is not surprising that some couples feel a flatness and lowness within their relationship. With the same routine continuing over and over again on a daily basis, it is important for couples to do something different every once in a while to reignite that spark, reignite the flame and feel the passion. Or how I like to say, put a little bit of extra spice back into it.
Last night hubby and I watched the silliest, yet funny movie, Amercian Reunion. I couldn’t help but laugh when we watched their bed moving to the motion of rocking their two-year old child to sleep at midnight, as opposed to anything else quite so fancy. Sound a little familiar? And so, this couple was reminded…you have to make time; you have to schedule it in. Even if it is between 1-3pm while the children are sleeping. Or maybe this is wishful thinking on my part…
So what can couples do to help bring that spark back?
- Take time out to spend with your partner – Make it a priority to have “date nights”. Whether it is playing a game of scrabble, Twister, going to the movies or having a meal out together, it is about spending time together and making the time to reconnect.
- Find regular moments to reconnect and debrief – Debrief the week’s challenges, stresses, highs and lows.
- Have a weekend away – yes this may be a little challenging for some but there is nothing better then escaping life’s daily demands and hybinating away for a short time
- Think about your passions and interests that bought you together – did you enjoy hiking, walking or have an activity that you did together? Find some time to reconnect to these original values and enjoyment.
- Communicate and listen – sounds easy right? But so often we talk but don’t listen. Couples need to listen with no judgment and communicate with honesty and respect.
Letting some parts of the relationship slip is easy to do when couples are juggling kids, work, family and everything else in between. Understand that reigniting the spark may take a little time. But with commitment, passion, mutual value for each other and understanding, sparks can be reignited. Because let’s be honest, we all like something new and exciting every once in a while. Whether it is a dinner date out, or a new pair of shoes, or a new outfit for a special occasion… it makes us feel a little bit more alive.
So come on , try it… what do you do to put a little extra “spice” into your relationship?
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