Family Life

How do you know that?

how do you know

One of my closest girlfriends came over the other day. Catch up, meet the baby, cup of tea and just a chin wag which I so desperately needed.

From talking about our girlie chit-chat conversation of marriage, men, babies, and life no sooner did the little man need his feed. As I called the husband from the other room I realised I had to juggle feeding and expressing. I got so caught up in my little “switch –off” I totally forgot.

Here she was, sitting between my hubby feeding and me expressing with a few screams in between.

Instead of running quickly out the door, she was more intrigued about the processes, equipment, and burping actions we were involved in. “How do you know all this?” she asked.

Somehow I got to thinking… how did I learn all this? How did I know what breast pump to buy, what bottle to buy, what seat to buy, how much formula to use, how to burp, what car seats and boosters seats to buy, how to wrap, how to bath, when to bath, when to feed, when to pump… all these questions that for an expectant mum can be awfully overwhelming.

This was me not too long ago. All these questions. Wondering. Puzzled. A little more puzzled and a little more confused.

It is so easy to take it all for granted. Second time round, auto pilot goes on and I just do. But boy was it different first-time round. I had no idea! Bottles, teats, milk, formula, breast attachment, bathing, burping…. “What the f*ck, do I do?” were my exact thoughts. There were phone calls to friends, my sister-in-law, and even my mum… although sometimes I had to question her 1980 ways.

So I can not help but wonder how do people really know? Do we ever really know? Or is it just a string of hit and misses and hope that we hit the right spot more often then not? Trial and errors? Trying new things. Late night Googling….

If only there were some place new mums could go for all the answers. If only there were some place mums in general could go for all the answers. Somewhere easy to learn the answers, buy new products, buy good products and maybe have a chat with a few other mums as well. I know there are places like Big W that sell great products, and online too which makes it soooo much easier. Who knew my love for on-line shopping would dramatically increase since having children to the point where the credit card has been hacked into a few too many times because my purchases just went through the roof. But it is hard finding these places. These great stores. How do you know?

Or maybe Siri could learn the answers and find out our most bizarre questions.

It is hard being a mum. The many choices out there don’t make it any easier. Different advice, different knowledge, different “try this”, “have you tried that”, “how about this”… ARGGGGHHHH it is enough to make anyone go a little loopy.

But you don’t stop learning. We don’t stop wanting new advice, knowledge, information, support and “how to’s”…. parenting is a journey. Slowly but surely we begin to add to our tool box. Maybe it is a little like Mary Poppin’s bag… it just seems to continue and continue and continue….

And every once in awhile if someone asks I try to offer something. And sometimes I don’t. Because I don’t know everything. There are just some things I don’t know. I am still trying to wing it every day too.

How did you know?

What tricks and tips would you pass on to an expectant friend?


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  • Kate Sins

    A veeeeery loooooong string of misses and the occasional hit! But over time the misses became fewer and further between and there were more hits. But even now, I don’t really know. Now we’re at a different phase and it’s not easier necessarily, just different. Gawd, I have so many pieces of advice, but they are only really relevant to my experience! That’s the hardest part – what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for anyone else. x

  • Fran Gordon

    For settling and sleeping issues, I recommended the book “Save our Sleep” to friends as I found it very useful and contained some common sense and valuable advice most people can relate to.

  • Elisa

    With first baby, it was definitely lots of hits and misses, and reading the baby book. Second baby I had my confidence, and I followed my intuition and read the baby, not the book :) xx

    • Tahlia

      Have to admit, I he referred back to the book. But certainly just for a glance this time. Not a read! x

  • E.

    I think a lot of parenting ( at every age) hit and miss. What I would say if I were asked (mine are 13 and 8 now), is that x, y or z worked for us. But every family and every baby is different.

    • Tahlia

      What works for one does not ways work for others… Totally good advice x

  • http://Www.Maxabellaloves.Blogspot.Com Maxabella

    If it worked the first time it becomes the *must have* baby accessory! x

    • Tahlia

      There are a few *must haves* for me second time round Bron x

  • Peter

    LOL Siri isn’t smart enough to know all those things which a mother already knows:) A mom is a real scientist, we all have to be a doctor, a nurse, a cook, a maid, a wife, a lover…that’s the most complex of all the sciences…

    • Tahlia

      So true! And u are right… Siri would not know the answers! She would say “sorry I am not sure”