Family Life

my friend has depression

post natal depression

Although I could not attend, I was invited to attend a gathering ans photo shoot last month for PANDA’s (Post and Antenatal Depression Association) Post Natal Depression Awareness Week. The message is simple.

Some of the darkest days are those early days with a new born baby. Some of the most scariest moments are the moments after a baby’s birth. Because, then and there, life is going to change. Then and there, everything that mumma thought she had control over is no longer there. And then and there, that mumma relinquishes so much of her self to that little human being.

And it is hard.

Very hard.

And sometimes that mumma friend of yours needs a little bit of extra help. Sometimes that friend of yours needs a hug, an embrace, someone to say, “I am here to listen”, or “you don’t have to be SuperMum”.

Sometimes she needs a meal cooked for her and her family, or someone to come over to give her company and support to go for a walk.

Because that Mumma friend may be going through some of her darkest moments and be too scared to acknowledge it. Or to even discuss it.

When she says, “it will pass”, “ohh, it is only a faze”.. tell her that maybe it will, and maybe it won’t. But that you are there to help her through her journey.

She might need reassurance to know that if she feels like curling into a ball and running away, she is not a bad mum. She might need reassurance that you are not judging her.

She may want to talk, she may not. She may just want some company.

And the more support she has, hopefully, she will see the brighter light sooner. And maybe, just maybe, she will get some extra help she needs.

So don’t ignore. Don’t say “she is going through a faze”. Because she may just need a friend to help her get over that barrier to make a doctor’s appointment to take the next step forward. Research shows that:

‘Early intervention and the right treatment and support lead to a faster recovery for mums and dads. PANDA is urging all Australians to recognise the signs and take action quickly.’

So just remember, admitting that that friend of yours is probably finding it hard to admit she is not coping and to ask for help. She is finding it hard to acknowledge that she is struggling with her feelings.

So:

  • Be patient. But trust your instincts.
  • Listen to her and encourage her to talk about her feelings.
  • Validate her. Help her normalise her situation.
  • Offer to go to the GP with her. Simply driving her there may make all the difference.
  • And get help for yourself too. Because it can be a large load to carry and you need to take care of yourself too.

If you need help for yourself or someone you know, visit  your GP for more information or go to PANDA’s website. 

Over 45,500 women and 14,000 men (15 per cent of women and 5 per cent of men) will be diagnosed with postnatal depression in Australia this year. If you would like to share your story please link up your post below…the more we talk, the more we can improve the wellbeing of Australian families.

If you or someone you know needs help you can all the PANDA national helpline on 1300 726 306 or visit www.panda.org.au

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