Ask anyone what they want out of life and chances are you will hear a few common responses: financial freedom, good health and happiness. Money and health always feature high on the list and are things we can work towards by setting goals; happiness however, is less measurable and more dependent on external circumstances. Or so we think.
How often have you told yourself any of the following: “I’ll be happy once I have my perfect job?” Or, “I’ll be happy when I pay off the credit card?” Or perhaps, “I’ll be happy when I lose 5kg?” We tend to base our perception of happiness on our success or something that is happening in the future, and once we do achieve one of our goals the happiness phase is short lived and quickly replaced with a new goal. Once again destination ‘happiness’ is delayed.
According to Dr. Madisen Harper in her bestselling book “LimitLESS – 10 Energy Excelerators to Access Your Infinite Potential”, it is ‘the state’ and not ‘the stuff’ that makes us truly happy. Dr. Harper goes on to say:
Most people are chasing the ‘stuff’: the new house, holiday, car and so on. But what they’re really craving is the ‘state’.
So how do we achieve this ‘state’ of happiness? Dr. Harper believes we need to focus on ‘life’s duality’ and celebrate both the good and the bad that occur in our life. “We need to see the negative things as learning curves that help us experience and grow and we also need to appreciate the here and now”.
I can see where Dr. Harper is coming from. Living and appreciating what we have now is important yet something, in the busy-ness of our lives tend to overlook. If we took a deep breath and looked for the little things, those simple moments surely we cold find the joy in each and every day.
It may be those good morning cuddles from your child so warm and soft, seeing the garden blossom in the Spring or change colour in the Autumn, it may be the relief when your partner walks in the door at night or the simplicity of the unconditional love your dog gives you.
The more we concentrate on the small, every day things the more we will begin to see them.
It also comes down to changing the way we define happiness. Events and circumstances can make us feel happy, of course they do, however, we need to understand that it is not ‘normal’ and to be happy all of the time, in fact it is quite impossible. We are human and part of being human is possessing the ability to experience a whole range of emotions. Focusing on striving for just one of these such as happiness is unrealistic.
Of course we all have hopes and dreams, but the problem lies in when we tie these dreams in with the notion that they will bring happiness. Unfortunately this way of thinking blinds us to the present moment and our day to day happiness. By reminding ourselves to be mindful in each day we can begin to turn our thoughts towards contentment in the moment. Thus changing focus away from the unnatural striving to be happy.
Try it today. Look for the smallest things, the things you would normally gloss over and let the feeling of simple joy warm you from within. Who knows you may just discover how happy you already are.
Whats making you happy right NOW?
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Jodi is a freelance writer, self-published business author, blogger and aspiring novelist. She also juggles being a wife and mother to four girls. You can read her blog here, or follow her on Twitter @jfgibsonwriter
{photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc}
