I am turning 30. Today I am 30. In my 30 years, I have learnt so much and I am still learning. It has been a journey. Here it is:
1. Gratitude is something you need to practice each day. And I honestly forget too. I am guilty. But I realise, when I don’t stop, notice and observe the little things around me, I become agro, grumpy and just down right snappy. Practice gratitude, observe the moments, everything kind of just fits into perspective.
2. Perspective is very personal. How often have you heard someone say “gain some perspective”. I here it too often, sometimes from my most loved. What I know, and what I have learnt; we all have our own perspective. We all see a painting in a different way, with a different meaning. Perspective is quite unique to everyone.
3. Children really do change your life, for the better. I feel so blessed to have two gorgeous children. Having them, raising them and watching them grow each day has given me a new perspective of what life is all about. Mess is no longer seen as just mess, but rather memories and imagination created.
4. Love brings happiness. Surrounding yourself with people who love you, respect you and value you, brings you happiness. Feeling loved, you feel uplifted. Somehow it sometimes does become enough.
5. Happiness is a journey. There is no one answer to happiness. Sometimes the most silly things can bring you happiness. And sometimes the most philosophical and metaphorical is the answer.
6. You don’t need to put pressure on yourself to constantly be happy. Too often we feel we have to always be happy. Totally not true. We need our low days to appreciate the good. We need our dark days to learn and grow. You would not be human if sadness was not in your life.
7. Patience is hard . I totally suck at patience. I am not patient at all. I have always wanted, and still want everything NOW. But sometimes, it is the patience that brings the journey and the ride together and teaches you something in the process that you would ordinarily not get without it. Children are the best teachers of this.
8. Children can teach us so much more then we give them credit for. Never underestimate the power of children. They are honesty the people in this world that may make you stop, acknowledge and change something.
9. Anger does not get you anywhere. We all get angry and we all feel angry. Given. But holding onto the anger just brings resentment. It is not a good feeling. It is like this leech inside that sucks so much good from you.
10. Let go of anger, you will feel free. Guaranteed. Once you let it go, there will be a huge wait lifted. You will be breathing in a way you never had before, open to new possibilities and develop relationships you never thought you could. You may also just mend a few in the process too. It is a good feeling.
11. Relationships are hard work. They need work. It is so easy to let this side slip by, especially with the demands of children and life. But a good solid relationship doesn’t just happen. You need to mend your relationship, stroke it and care for it. Put it as a priority. Spend quality time together. Connect with each other.
12. Finding your passion is important. Too often I read and hear of people feeling like they are stuck in a job or a lifestyle that they hate and dread. Rethink your passions. Follow suit. Connect with them.
13. Moments are all around you. You just have to notice them. Stop. Reflect.
14. Baking a cake is not that hard. Before I got married, I had never baked a cake, never. There was something that scared the begjesus out of me. But seriously, it is not that hard. Kind of fail proof really… kind of…
15. The best recipes are the ones handed down to you. And live through each generation, enjoyed and treasured. My little girl is currently chewing on a cookie, the recipe was my grandmothers.
16. Who said ‘time out’ can’t be for you too? Yes, sometimes putting yourself in time out is more important then putting the kids in time out.
17. Plans can change. And don’t get too booged down with them. Who would have thought I would be doing this blogging/writing/social media gig five years ago? Not me, that is for sure.
18. Reassess your values regularly. With yourself and your partner. What are your family values? Mutual values bring you together and connect you. Grounds you, gives perspective and helps answer some of the tough questions.
19. Accept people for who they are. You just can’t change people, so stop trying. It just disappoints you. Begin to accept, your anger and resentment will dissipate too. It kind of works together. It is hard though sometimes.
20. Learning never stops. The moment you think you have learnt enough is the moment you need to change something. Everyday there is something new to be learnt.
21. Mistakes happen. Without mistakes, how can you learn? You need the mistakes to grow, change and evolve. It is through the mistakes that you then go forward with some of the most wonderful successes and accomplishments. Make sure your kids know this too.
22. Challenges are good. From a very young age, I had challenges. Coming from a family of divorced parents made the growing up period happen a whole lot quicker. I saw my mum go through her challenges. I went through challenges myself. But I feel blessed for witnessing them and experiencing them.
23. Goals keep you focused. I see it too often, teenagers having no goals and no aspirations. Having goals gives direction. But they need to be realistic and achievable. Goals can change, goals evolve. But having a sense of your passions, values and interests and what you want to achieve, these not only help you, they teach your children too.
24. Family’s need to spend meal time together. It seems simple. It sometimes is not. Have a meal together, you will connect. At the table, phones off, tv off. Just you.
25. There is such a thing as fate. But you have to make your own fate too. Don’t sit back and wait for life to pass you by, for things to fall into your lap and the moments to come to you. Create them. Go out and seek them.
26. Helping others is a gift like no other. Not only is it a gift, it leaves this warm fuzzy feeling inside. Helping others helps you too.
27. Quality friendships are what matters, not the amount of friends you have. I don’t have many friends. But the friends I have are true, honest and real friends. My grandmother used to always tell me “if you can count the number of close friends on one hand, you are pretty lucky.” I think she was right. I think this is a message I want to pass onto my children, I know it is actually.
28. Be yourself. Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself; everybody else is already taken.”
29. Don’t be afraid to try new things and take a calculated risk or two. You don’t want to live through life and get to the end of your life with regrets of what you didn’t do. Live now. Enjoy the now and step out of your comfort zone every so often.
30. I am still going on my journey. Everyday is a journey, and I am living it. Sometimes I have no idea, sometimes I wing it, and sometimes I get it right. And that is life.
Note : this list was inspired by The Minimalists, a wonderful blog of inspiration that I just discovered.
