I am one of those people that can hold onto things for a looooonnnngggg time. Okay, not everything. But I am not one to just ‘let it go’ quickly without the talk, the discussion, more talk and more discussion. If you were a fly on my wall you may sometimes see my husband & I up till all hours of the night still trying to “rehash” & solve our issue, even though I realistically know that a decent & relatively normal conversation is not going to occur at 11pm at night.
When I feel something, I feel it. When I am disappointed, I am disappointed. I tend to over-analyse situations with constant back-and-forth internal discussions (and external), all while trying to work out a logical reason for such a feeling or behaviour. Truth be told, I have in the past sought external professional assistance to help me through such personal battles.
Hearing friends tell me they can just ‘let it go’ so easily and simply, often leaves me feeling a little envious. Because, I wonder, wouldn’t it be nice to not hold on to so much “stuff” every now & then & just have that go-with-the-flow, ‘ahh, whatever’, kind of attitude.
It would be nice.
So you could say that ‘letting go’ can present a few challenges for me.
But I have learnt a few things over my years. I also feel kind of proud of myself (if I dare say that), that I have learnt to ‘let go’ a little more easily then what I would have about five years ago. Five years ago, things would be a lot more challenging for me.
So what have I learnt ::
Number one: Remember that you can’t change people. As much as we might like to think we can change people, the truth is.. we can’t. Something very simple, yet very powerful.
Number two: No one else is responsible for how you feel, only you. It is easy to have the blame game & try to divert your feelings onto something or someone else. Taking responsibility is hard, but a crucial step in letting go.
Number three: It is not always about you. We have all experienced those arguments or disagreements with friends or family that has left that little nasty “yuck” taste. You wonder, “what have I done wrong?”. Sometimes there is more to the situation then just you & in fact, there may be bigger issues going on for that other person then you could even possibly imagine. Take a step back.
Number four: We all have our boundaries. You just need to discover what they are for other people, & yourself.
Number five: Take a break. If you need to get away or ship sale for a little while to get some fresh air & new perspective, then do it. Sometimes taking yourself out of the situation & surrounding yourself with your own silence is important.
Learning to let go is not easy (for some). It is journey. It can be a challenge. But the end goal is all so worth it.
How are you at letting go? Does it come easy or a challenge to you?
Linking up with Essentially Jess
