Family Life

when patience is just hard

patient parenting

I have always been open and honest with the lack of patience I have. At twenty-one I knew I wanted to be thirty-one with a husband and children. At twenty-four when I met my husband and  knew he was the one, I wanted to be engaged, instantly, with no waiting. When married, I wanted children instantly, having no idea of the difficulty and time it would actually take. And now, as a mother my patience has been tried and tested to the nth degree, many a times being totally unsuccessful in being patient through the journey

Admittingly, my patience has come leaps and bounds. I still want things to happen instantly – or at the very least a short while after instantly – but waiting for my daughter to organise every little treasure before coming to dinner and then strategically discarding the slight visible vegetable or herb she sees on her plate before putting that little bit of food in her mouth that takes twenty minutes instead of what should really be two minutes, has now become more of a joy and beauty to watch then a stress attack.

Children are the very best people in this world to challenge you and make you actually want to change.

But it was this weekend when she was learning to ride her bike, falling over, having tears, looking down instead of up while pedalling, that I realised that bike teaching and probably driving in general is a whole new level of patience. While every little fall was the biggest drama resulting in the biggest tears, I realised that it is damn bloodly hard being that patient bike teacher. Some people are just born with that beautiful layer of patience.

Not me.

But I can’t help but wonder if being a poor bike teacher and realising you need to dedicate that role to someone else, is in fact being impatient or just rather clever? I always said that I would never put my teenager behind the wheel with me in the passenger seat until they have had at least ten driving lessons, or maybe more. And even then I would probably get my husband to do the first drive just to make sure our child can actually drive.

An analysis of this past weekend has taught me a few things, mainly confirming that sometimes I am just not patient and that our peaceful stroll to the coffee shop is no longer while she gets her pedalling legs on, looks up and doesn’t stumble every two seconds.

You would think that moments like these are moments to grab and hold onto. And yes, they are. I will look back on these first bike riding experiences, photos and videos and realise the pain and pride I have for my gorgeous little girl who’s determination is extravagant and intoxicating.

And I did actually take photos this weekend. Good ones in fact.

By the end of Sunday she mastered starting and stopping on her own. Proud mum!! It was just a damn challenging, exhausting, tearful, frustrating, scratchy and a wold ride to get there. Patience is hard sometimes.

How do you go with patience? Do find certain ‘teaching’ exercises sometimes challenging and testing?

Linking up with Essentially Jess

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  • http://www.simplelovingthoughts.blogspot.com/ LYBliss

    I have taught 2 of my 4 kids to drive, can craft all day with them, happily take a stroll admiring every flower, beetle and butterfly we come across but PLEEEAASSSEE don’t ask me to cook with them. I fully understand that passing family recipes on, teaching children to be capable and loving cooks and expanding their world and palate is crucial but OMG I’d rather staple my head to the floor than make cupcakes or cookies with a child. Patience does not exist in the kitchen

    • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au the parenting files – tahlia

      That is hilarious! It just goes to show how different we all are in where our limits are drawn! Baking and my kids… love it! Bike riding… not so much xx

  • Aroha @ Colours of Sunset

    I am terrible with patience as well. I have none. My husband and I do a lot of looking at each other and mouthing the words “just breathe” to each other. We do a lot of counting to 10 in our heads. And we do a LOT of trying to remember that he is only 5, and a lot of things are still new for him. Things that took us ages to learn, will take him ages to learn. But man oh man, it is a constant battle to keep that frustrating in check! My husband did a great job of teaching our son to ride his bike. He learned in about 10 minutes. Now my son wants to learn golf, and that is taking it’s toll on me! I think I’ve counted to 20,000 so far. :-) -Aroha (for #teamIBOT)

    • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au the parenting files – tahlia

      haha! Just breath… yes I can totally relate! I am thinking that I would send your son to a golf lesson? And then come back home for some more one on one training. Man, I don’t know how you would do that one! Superstar! x

  • http://www.jfgibson.com.au/ Jodi Gibson

    Lack of patience is probably my worst personality trait. The best way to deal with it, which you touch on here, is knowing the difference between when I need to learn patience and when it is just not ‘me’. There is no way I could teach my kids to drive so yes delegating to husband is the best in that case. On the other hand I need to learn patience when dealing with the kids especially when they are learning to manage their emotions!

    • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au the parenting files – tahlia

      It is such a fine line sometimes isn’t it love. I am learning to delegate more and I am learning to have a little patience more.. slowly xx

  • AParentingLife

    Oh those first bike rides! I didn’t have the patience with my eldest, it was a terrible affair. She whinged and whined and carried on and I just couldn’t take it. Totally different story with the next one though, it was one of the easiest things I have ever done.

  • http://www.redlandcityliving.com/ Janet from Redland City Living

    LOL funnily enough I posted about patience today – and my lack of it ;-)

    In the first paragraph, you sound EXACTLY like me! And to this day I still struggle at times because I want everything to happen NOW. Not next week, next month, next year!

    Visiting from #TeamIBOT – just call me Xena, Warrior Princess!

  • http://mylittlesunshinehouse.com/ Zanni Louise

    Gee, I know! I totally relate to this, being an incredibly impatient person myself! Children have taught me a lot about patience. I have had to spend some many nights waiting for them to go to sleep…being patient. I think I am slowly getting there. x

  • http://www.havealaughonme.com/ Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    I think it comes down to the child and timing. My oldest was 5 when we took her training wheels off and got it in 5 minutes!! I have no idea why we waited so long but we did and it made her experience so much better. Mum knows best I reckon x

  • Kathy www.yinyangmother.com

    I’ve written before that I could have written a thesis on impatience – if only I’d been patient enough. Our long journey of infertility and adoption hasn’t really taught me patience even though it probably should have. I think you are right though – it is how you look at things. The first tentative attempts at bike-riding will be something you can treasure (unlike incredibly painful and stubborn attempts to evade eating – I’m impressed you get a joyful kick out of her antics).

  • http://lifeloveandhiccups.blogspot.com Sonia@ LIfe Love and Hiccups

    Patience is something I most definitely do NOT have enough of. I get stressed easily and then any skerrick of patience I do have literally just flies out the window xx