Recipe for the perfect marriage


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I have been married for five years. Five glorious years filled with beauty, honesty, challenge and love. They have been years filled with life, and new life, tackled together and experienced together. I kind of always knew that my partner in life would be a strong man of integrity, honesty, generosity and strength. It took me awhile to find him, and I had definitely searched, and searched. Trying on a few different sorts and styles initially first before truly finding the right fit. In all honesty, I actually never imagined that the right fit would be found in the world of online dating, online searching and blissful connections made through the world of the Internet.

And the thing about marriage, which often most people don’t talk about, is that it can be sometimes the most challenging yet rewarding experience all wrapped up into one little bundle. I can’t help but recall Pink’s latest single, True Love:

“At the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck.
You’re an arsehole but I love you, and you make me so mad…”

Yep, true love.

But it was my mum on my wedding day that spelt out to me the recipe of a perfect wedding cake in her speech. It is the wedding cake that will supposedly give you the most perfect (or near perfect) marriage around:

4 cups of love

2 cups of friendship

1 cup each of consideration and patience

1 cup of blindness for each other’s faults

½ cup each of good wit and good humour

2 tablespoons of argument sweetened with an equal amount of honey

1 litre of rippling laughter

A wine glass full of common sense

3 teaspoons of pure essences of “I’m sorry”.

3 teaspoons of modesty


Stir all the ingredients together making sure to remove any specks of jealousy, temper and criticism

Sweeten to suit with extra generous portions of love

And once all is well mixed, bake gently with sunshine for the rest of your lives and serve a piece of cake daily in generous helpings

In all honesty, I don’t follow this recipe to the tee every day, but then mind you I never follow recipes to the exact tee. Sometimes I am way off and sometimes I am close to the measurements given. But I have definitely learnt a thing or two in my wonderous years of marriage.

Forgiveness. It is now currently in my cake.

Without it, that little bit of bitterness and temper inside me would begin to accumulate and blind me to the special moments around me. Things around me would become fuzzy and cloudy and blindness would be there. The everyday special moments may not be seen. A world without forgiveness may be a very lonely world.

No marriage is perfect. No marriage is without argument or disagreement. The happiest marriage, I believe, are those that have patience, forgiveness and a huge dose of laughter throughout their journey.

And this journey of mine is still continuing. Happily. Very happily. With a good solid serving of forgiveness, laughter and patience.

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