For all my non-Melbourne Dockland and city readers, here is the latest column from 3000Melbourne magazine.
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Chrissie Swan confessed in the media last month that she is “pregnant and I smoke”. This confession came after being snapped by a photographer who took that photo of her having her sneaky cigarette. What came next was outrage, and a backlash of ‘bad parent’, ‘selfish’ ‘how could she’ from the public
We all know smoking is not a good thing, even more so when one is pregnant. The ramifications can be deadly. It is a given. And she knows that too. She knew that every time she had that sneaky cigarette.
But what many people have failed to ignore is the heartfelt plea of exhaustion, shame, try and fighting each day to the next that so many mothers feel. We have shamed her for this one crime, and failed her in so many more ways. Motherhood is a tough gig. One of the toughest out there. And as so many mothers would know, some times it is a struggle to get through the day of parenting, cleaning, exhaustion, toddler tantrums, cooking, all while trying to have a moment to go to the toilet in peace.
It is not easy. And I am sick of people judging other people without anything but a glimpse into their life.
Shouldn’t we be helping others; questioning how we can help them through their pain and struggles? Shouldn’t we be wondering what has happened for someone to decide that that is the only option?
When people make such ‘crimes’ they need support, love and compassion. Not bully behaviour, ridicule, name-calling and shame. Believe me, the shame is already there internally for that individual.
I don’t know how to make the bullying stop. I want to know.
I am running a workshop to teens in a few weeks on bullying. Did you ever get bullied as a kid? Have you recently been bullied? What message would you want to send to teens today?
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