My husband sent me an email the other day, and email that detailed a link to an article titled ‘The Day I stopped Saying “Hurry Up”‘. He often doesn’t send me such emails, so I was a little intrigued by this one to say the least. And as I opened the email, clicked on the link and started reading, my mind paused. I paused. I instantly thought I was that person in the article.
I realised I was just the same.
The author starts her article by saying :
When you’re living a distracted life, every minute must be accounted for. You feel like you must be checking something off the list, staring at a screen, or rushing off to the next destination. And no matter how many ways you divide your time and attention, no matter how many duties you try and multi-task, there’s never enough time in a day to ever catch up.
The author proceeds to tell her story about the many times she has told her daughter to “hurry up”, sometimes more then “I love you”. And I got to thinking, how often do I tell my daughter to hurry up?
Like many parents, I often feel like I have not enough minutes in the day, am constantly running around, pulling my phone out of my bag to check an email or notification, and feeling like I have to always be doing something. And yes, sometimes, I say to my 3.5 year old daughter “hurry up” (I often insert a “sweety”, or “darling” in there somewhere thinking that it may dampen the tone). And while she likes to take her time to get changed, finish her tea party, organise her “friends” before bed and swing on the rocking horse in the porch before hoping in the car, driving me a little batty while doing so, I realise that she also needs to understand the concept of time. Ok, maybe “hurry up” is not the phrase we should be using to our children, but just like other boundaries and limitations we place in their life, time too also has to be considered.
But…
We do need to allow our children their own time to draw their drawing
Eat their ice cream
Observe the flowers and gardens around them
Play their tea party set
Rock on their rocking horse
Set the pace on outing strolls
But….
They also need to know that at a certain time they need to leave for school
Set the dinner table
Organise their bed time friends in order to be in bed at a reasonable hour
And be at a place at a certain time.
My daughter is given the freedom to be herself and explore her world in her own time and way. She is given the opportunity to ‘smell the roses’, explore, and discover the beautiful things around her while similarly eating every last drop of her ice cream. I don’t rush her. I like to think I don’t rush her. But admittedly, there are times that I do rush her. There are times that I communicate to her that we “have to leave in ten minutes”, and “Sweety, let’s get moving”. This is not “hurrying her up”, but rather giving her a sense of responsibility and awareness.
I know I need to slow down.
I know I need to allow my children to slow down and set the pace.
I know that when my daughter does slow down, she and I and everyone else are better off for it
I know that she is an observer
I know that she is one to stand back and just observe, and do nothing else
She is an observer
She has a creative mind
My son is an explorer…
But every now and then she does need to get her ‘giggy’ on and know that she needs to speed up the pace a little.
Life comes with responsibility, and if we don’t teach our children this concept, then how can they be accountable for life’s great challenges as they grow older. But with every teaching we also need to know, and so do they, that “pausing to delight in the simple joys of everyday life is the only way to truly live.”
