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life

Inspiration

stepping into life

June 22, 2012
i am grateful for

This was one of my first posts. It is always interesting to revisit what you have previously written. I may write a little differently now but I thought this was one to revisit and bring back to light. 

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It was only the other day that a couple came to me asking me how they help their son gain direction and stability. How do they give him the empowerment to commit to decisions and decide what he wants for his future? What should they be doing differently to help him on his personal discovery? I sit and wonder what are the best tools, strategies and advice we can give our children for them to be the best person they can be in the future – and now.

We often talk about “unconditional love” and the notion of loving our children no matter what – through their upheavals, mistakes, trials and tribulations – dare I use the common cliche. But what is this unconditional love that we so regularly talk about and speak of within our everyday language?

I mean of course there are going to be times when we disapprove of certain actions and decisions our children may make, and disapprove of possible choices. Of course we will always still love them, that goes without saying, but although you may disapprove, what message do they hear? Do they only hear the disappointment? Or do they rather hear, “yes, I may be disappointed, but it does not make you less of a person and does not make me love you less and value you less in any way. You are still a valuable and worthy human being.”

I took this image on my trip to Tasmania. I love this photo how it shows the beauty in the flowers in a place that one would not expect.

Our children need to know when they have disappointed people in their life, after all, we all need the life lessons of how to cope with disappointment and having disappointed someone else. They need to know what is accepted, valued and what boundaries are in place in certain places. However, as parents we need to let our children make mistakes, fall over, and suffer the consequences. But in falling over, we need to make sure they know we are still there for them, value them, think they are worthy and love them. We need to encourage them to take responsibility while being their anchor in time of need.

I can’t help but wonder what our children’s decisions and actions mean for us personally and what it brings out in us? Maybe we need to reflect on our own anxieties and questions and look within ourselves for the answers. Maybe our questions are about ourselves and personal experiences, values and past upheavals as opposed to our children’s burden?

In helping our children step into life maybe we too need some skills and empowerment to work through our own baggage?

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Family Life

an experiment

April 17, 2012
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Some things just never go to plan. No matter how hard you try.

Some times we can work at it, persist at it, try and try and then.. well… it just does not work.

It took 4 cakes to get to the perfect cake. That is right…. FOUR!!!

I was not going to give up! I persisted! I tried! I even had a gorgeous girlfriend come over to give me a few extra pointers. Thank you my dear xx

And the thing is, I have never had this bad luck before. I don’t claim to be the best baker, but I think I do a kinda good job. Well so I have been told anyway.

But as my hubby has told me over and over again… “it is all an experiment”.

We live… we learn… we make mistakes and we try again. And we pick ourselves up and try a different way if something does not work.

So in a way, life is like a bit of an experiment. We trial something, we are curious about something. If it works, we make note. If it doesn’t, we make note of that too.

If I think, recall and have more of a think, the amount of trials and failures I have made are endless…the chicken dish that just did not taste like chicken; the time I know I should have disciplined my child but totally ignored the situation; the time i didn’t get the “perfect” score on my English essay that I worked so hard for.; or the worry when I really didn’t have to worry.

But they are not failures, they are challenges, they are lessons and they are part of the experiment.

Life and parenting… a little experiment really.

Are you experimenting at the moment?

What lessons are you learning?

 

Linking up with Diary of SAHM for Tuesday story telling

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lots of smiles and love xx

 

Family Life

when change comes rolling in

March 6, 2012
new change

There will be a new look very soon. A fresh new look. A little glitz, a little glam, and a great new change. Aristotle once said,

“Change in all things is sweet.”

Ohh this is going to be sweet. But sometimes change can be a little challenging. I have to admit, I am a little concerned about a new interface, a new program to get my head around and a new concept to grasp. Just when I thought I had it all sorted.

Change can be a little challenging. Can be a little overwhelming. It can sometimes tip our bucket over the edge.

It wasn’t the last little change, but maybe the accumulation of change.

We all deal with change differently. We all embrace it a little differently.

Some of us relish in the lack of change while others relish in the constant change.

There will be a few changes this year coming my way. A few big changes. Major ones in fact! All of which I am excited about but I would be lying if I told you I was not nervous.

A little anxious. A little worried.

That is the think about change…. it comes with so many emotions, feelings.

And in this case, a new look.

How do you cope with change?

Do you embrace it or run away from it?

  

Linking up with Diary of SAHM for fabulous Tuesday

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Family Life

learn how to live a free and happy life

August 25, 2011
alone tree

Today’s post is by the fabulous Caz from Mojito Mother. She was kind enough to put her hand up to be the first guest poster for the parenting files.

 

If you really want to know how to live a happy and free life, spend time with a child. Make sure you are fully engaged and present when you do as they hold so many natural gems of wisdom

We all come into this world as babies poised for growth and prosperity. Sadly as we get older we lose our connection to what is most truthful about life, and we forget how to live it with perfect harmony.

I spend many hours with Kalyra watching and learning how to live a rewarding and fulfilling life. Her lessons are too numerous to put in one post but here are just a few of them.

Acknowledge, Appreciate and Respect Everything Around You

On our walks outside in nature, Kalyra delights in the creation that surrounds her. There is nothing too small that escapes her eye, her admiration and awe. She stops and crouches down to look at all types of bugs, insects, frogs, sticks, twigs, rocks, nuts and leaves. She laughs at the squirrels as they chase each other around the trees.

She’ll chatter away at all things and then give them a great wave as she departs, yelling its name as she goes “Bye Nut, Bye Leaf.” Everything around her is so deserving of her admiration, respect and acknowledgement.

How often do we rush around in life, caught up in our own problems and become so immune and unaware to the little miracles of life that surround us each day?

Take some time today to stop and smell the roses and appreciate and acknowledge the beauty of life.

Feel Your Emotions

I’ve learnt not to resist Kalyra’s emotional outbursts. I know now to just acknowledge how she’s feeling and just say “Okay, when you’re ready we can move forward.”

And then I’ll just sit back and let her totally feel her emotions. She’ll kick and scream and roll around on the floor, but in 2 minutes it will be all over. The emotions have been felt and have passed through her body and are now gone. She’s not ignoring them or holding them in, she’s just releasing it.

We need to feel what we are feeling and then let it go; it wouldn’t hang around as emotional baggage crippling us for years if we just did this one simple 2 minute emotional exercise.

I have my own adult temper tantrums now. Of course, I don’t do it rolling around on the supermarket floor, but I go in my room, cry out my tears of anger and frustration, and abuse my journal in a flurry of words. A few minutes later it’s out and over and I feel clear, refreshed and ready to move on.

Next time you have an intense emotion just let it go, let it run through your body and be gone. (Just make sure you do it in private to reduce collateral damage)

Do Things for Yourself but Know When to ask for Help

Kalyra loves to learn and accomplish new things. She stays focused on the task and tries until she gets it right. When she finally achieves the intended result she gives great shouts of joy “I did it! I did it” We jump around and cheer and celebrate her success.

Kalyra also knows her limitations. She always tries it herself first, but she knows if she’s not ready or capable enough yet and so will always ask for help at this stage.

Always first see what you can accomplish and never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Play Full out with Intensity, Passion, Fun, and Laughter.

Kalyra throws 100% of her passion into everything she does. She laughs a deep, belly laugh at everything and anything; she jumps on the bed like a maniac; she swings as high as she can go on a swing and locks us all in the walk-in closet so we can dance like there’s no tomorrow.

Kalyra doesn’t care whose watching or what she looks like she just wants to have fun and have everyone else do the same.

“Dance like no one is watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like no one is listening, Live like it’s heaven on earth.”   William Purkey,

Treat Yourself with Love

Kalrya doesn’t beat herself up, call herself names or dislike herself due to any mistakes made or injuries sustained.

She knows if she gives love to herself she will instantly heal and feel better and the mistakes are just par for the course. Kalyra loves Kalyra. How do children go from this natural state to become adults that are filled with self-loathing?

Do yourself a favour– kiss yourself better and go admire yourself in the mirror-You Are Amazing!

Everyday Kalyra learns something new and teaches me something new in the process. She is my greatest spiritual teacher. When you spend time with a child you will be reminded of what you once knew- how to live a true, free and happy life.

 

Caz Makepeace has been living and travelling around the world for 14 years. When not sipping mojitos around the world she is inspiring and empowering women to put the mojo back into their life at her blog Mojito Mother. She also writes about how to travel the world at y Travel Blog.