I have felt it, you have felt it, we have all felt it. Anger is not the problem. Anger is normal. Rather, how you deal with your anger can be the make or breaker for not only yourself, but your family as well.
:: Sometimes anger can be hidden.
:: Sometimes anger can creep up on you.
:: Sometimes it can be rage, and sometimes it can involve sadness.
:: Because anger can have many layers.
So the first thing is to acknowledge it! Yes, acknowledge that you are feeling angry and don’t try to hide it away. Because it is in the acknowledgement that you are recognising the first signs of anger.
I listened to the beautiful Naomi from Seven Cherubs the other day talk about anger. I love her honesty. She said, “I make a personal announcement – for your own personal safety please leave the room”. Honesty, witt and a little humour. So what are some other things you can do to help manage your anger:
1. Give yourself permission for your “time out”. Like me, you may give your child “time out” for misbehaving, or getting a little out of control. Who said mummy can not have “time out” too.
2. Know that anger is normal and okay. Be honest with yourself. Don’t think you are less of a person for feeling angry.
3. Acknowledge your anger. Acknowledge you are feeling angry.
4. Think of your ‘traffic light zones’. Green, being okay, Orange means warning, Red is fuming. What happens in each of these zones? What do you notice happens when you move from green to red? Does your heart rate increase, or do you begin to get sweaty, or you may disengage? Notice what happens.
5. Take a deep breath – it may sound cliche, but by a breath I mean a mindful breath, focusing on your breath through your lungs and diaphragm, imagining the air go in and then out. It is mindful breath taking.
6. Take out your rage productively. If you feel you are getting to that red zone, bang a pillow, scream on the street, or jump up and down. Think about a way to take out your anger productively.
7. Find ways to relax. Even if it is five minutes a day, we all need a moment to ourselves. Maybe a bath, or meditation, gym glass, or having a nice glass of wine. What do you do to relax?
8. Discover what your trigger points are. I can lose it in the supermarket. It is a weak point/place for me.
9. Think about what you are grateful for. It is a simple exercise, but can help you gain perspective and focus your attention on what matters.
10. Learn forgiveness. Anger is an emotion; anger is the iceberg you see above the water. And like an iceberg, there are emotions, and possible unresolved challenges and upbringings that may be fuelling your anger.
Is anger a little monster that lurks around your house every so often?
Linking up with Essentially Jess