Family Life

I know that you are better to ask than not

Posted on September 9, 2011
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I know that you are better to ask a question than not.

Contemplating, wondering and living with regret that you didn’t is not the place to be.

I know that there are questions that we want to ask, but to scared to ask. Maybe a question to ourself?

Maybe a question to someone else?

Living with the “What If’s” can be burdensome – it’s tough, challenging, and can be draining.

I know that the bigger the stuff, the harder it is.

I know that we all have days of sadness, loneliness and unhappiness.

This is okay.

How often have I wanted someone to stop worrying about themselves and worry about me for a second, and ask, “Darl, Are You Ok”?

I know that we all have moments of sadness, frustration and sheer “I have had enough” feelings and emotions? Some of us go to our laundry, or even our bathroom, the kitchen, or even our outside rumpus room to let the tears flow. I know that when this happens we often do it in secret.

Maybe we feel shameful and guilty for feeling this way?

I know that I have baggage, pain and have some big struggles. I have had loss and heartache in the things that should just not be that hard.

But I know that I am doing pretty good compared to others.

I know a lot of other people live in greater pain, suffering and heartache.

Their sadness just seems to go on, and on, and on, and on….

They want to be asked, “R U Okay”. They want someone to lift their pain and struggle just a little.

So today, I know that many people are gathering for an early morning coffee.

Many people are talking the talk. Starting to ask the big and scary and daunting questions.

The harder questions are hard, but I know they are beginning to be asked.

You may not get an answer, but at least you asked.

I know that I need to let go of some of my fear and ask, even the stranger that seems miserable on the street…

“Are you Okay today”?

I am raising awareness about RU OK Day on Thursday !5th September. A day to remind everyone to ask someone, “Are You Okay”.

If you are not ok, and that’s ok, contact Lifeline 13 11 14

Tahlia xx

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I like red wine, coffee and a good book {not necessarily in that order}. Mum to 2 rugrats, ex-psychotherapist turned tech entrepreneur.

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  • http://www.puddlesandgumboots.com Kate @ Puddles and Gumboots

    Beautiful post! I’m so happy to see so many posts around the blogosphere supporting this cause. It’s such an important one

  • Grace

    Thank you for bringing that awareness. The 15th will be an extremely important day for many.

  • http://www.peskypixies.wordpress.com p;ixie

    great post..people do need to lean on someone..esp if they are down.

  • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au tahlia

    you are right, we all need someone. or something to lean on when down x

  • http://frogpondsrock.com frogpondsrock

    yes.

  • http://www.threelilprincesses.com Kellie @ Three Li’l Princesses

    This is such a fabulous cause. So glad to see so many people jumping onboard and pushing this message.
    And the answer is yes. Thanks for asking. xx

    • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au tahlia

      thanks Kellie. It is great to see and hear. I am actually truly surprised by the response. it is great :)

  • http://aparentinglife.blogspot.com/ Rhianna

    I know that I love all this R U Okay discussion. It warms my heart to think that there are so many caring people out there trying to spread some love. Taking time to ask and listen can make a real difference in someone’s life. Sending some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way

    • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au tahlia

      Thanks Rhianna

      Sometimes it is the simply questions that can make such a difference to someone’s life. Listening in itself is just as important. In the work I do I often teach individuals and families to listen to each other. We think it is so easy, but for some it is a little harder.

      fairy wishes and butterfly kisses right back at you :) xx have a lovely weekend

  • http://cakecrumbsbeachsand.blogspot.com/ Peggy Saas

    This is very close to home for me. I watched a dear friend end her very long struggle with depression about 8 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilt and sadness that I didn’t, couldn’t, do more for her. I will be supporting this very worthy cause.

    Thank you Tahlia.

    • http://www.theparentingfiles.com.au tahlia

      gee peggy… i can feel some of your pain as i was reading. I hope in time you can let some of your guilt go. As you will always remember and feel the grief, I hope it can slowly get a easier.

      It is a real painful and saddening experience watching someone suffer in their our pain and sadness. Feeling helpless and powerless. A tough battle. I only hope more people are seeking help when they feel things are getting a bit much. I only hope more people are talking and asking then not… i think we are getting there.

      sending love your way

      take care x

  • http://www.wherethefairieslive.com Sif

    It’s a hard question to ask others and to ask yourself. I also totally get wanting to be asked. I get hoping not to be asked, too, but needing to be asked all the same. Great post!

    • http://www.themotherexperiment.com themotherexperiment

      oh my yes I remember not wanting to be asked but hoping somebody would ask but not wanting to be asked but needing them to but hiding from everyone but then wanting to be found.. It’s a very strange place to be in deed.

  • http://www.picklebums.com katepickle

    I wonder why sometimes find it so hard to really say when we’re not ok? Hopefully fab posts like this one will help us all keep asking and keep saying when aren’t ok!

  • http://www.themotherexperiment.com themotherexperiment

    great post Tahlia. I can definitely imagine it would be easier to ask than to live with the regret of not asking. That would be terrible.

  • Pingback: just ask | theparentingfiles()

  • http://daisyrooandtwo.blogspot.com Daisy

    Brilliant post! Just remember though, that just because other people are travelling worse than you, or are in more pain than you, doesn’t make your pain any less important, OK?

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