when we all feel a little lonely

Someone was very brave to talk and be open about how tough of a time she was having the other night. Although one of the most beautiful, emotional and joyful experiences, yet at the same time, the most challenging, stressful, confusing and sometimes isolating experiences.

Now some of you may know exactly what I am referring to. And if so, that tells me that maybe you too have felt something similar. But too often then not I hear how other people, other individuals, couples and maybe even families experience this emotional rollercoaster.

Loneliness…we have all experienced those times when we would have liked to be invited, be included in or be treated a little special by someone. Feel like the world does not rely solely on us, or that you are the emotional boxing bag for everyone else. How often have we felt alone in not being heard or listened to?

While everyone is out having dinner, having a few drinks, being social or enjoying a celebration, many of us are stuck with other responsibilities, obligations, or simply too tired. We read about the events unfolding on Facebook and see the uploaded photos the next day, or maybe we hear about that dinner a week later which we never got invited to.

“We just thought you would not be able to come…” seems to be a response so many of us have heard one to many times.

But who can not forget about feelings of loneliness even when surrounded by constant love and attention. There is being heard and listened to and there is being heard. “I feel like I am talking to a wall”….

So isn’t loneliness something we have all felt in different moments and different times? Being ignored, not being included and feeling a disconnection from the friends you once thought were friends. Or for some it may be loneliness in our home, in our household, in our marriage or relationship – feeling like the world relies on you, your there to save everyone but no one is saving you.

You are not alone. Yet feel so alone.

“Tied to the couch”, a girlfriend said the other day, a “caged bird”, “in prison”, or “stuck inside” are just a few of the terms I have heard lately. But I don’t want to narrow it down to mums! What about those people who have moved states, or even further. Or those that are now single while all there other friends are now in relationships, engaged or married. We have all felt alone.

So in these times when we have all felt like crawling into a ball and no one is there, how do we cope? How do we get out of the pain, misery and feelings of hopelessness at the time?

We all need friends, we need support and we need to be acknowledged and heard. Nothing is too much! We all need a tool box of special pick-me-up items, whether friends, partners, music, your favourite Friends episode, or simply the one person you can call to say “hey, I ‘m not feeling so good!”

So why is it so hard to be real with others? Or is it being real to ourselves?

Or does the fear of loneliness haunt us all?

Yes I know these are big questions, questions and truths that I for one struggle to acknowledge. But how often I know that once I talk, communicate and begin to work through the pain, the mist slowly subsides. Maybe not for everyone, but I have to be real with myself.

Loneliness is not a weakness. Loneliness is real. Let’s talk about it.

 

tahlia xx

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